Saturday, 27 December 2014

sachchai mein chain hai

I passed out of school and entered the  portals of college life. It was a completely different life. There was freedom in the air. There were no rules or regulations of wearing a uniform. There was freedom from the school bag. Here I experienced a greater freedom of expression.  College life brought me in contact with other teenagers of my age. Their thought process was different and more independent. Unlike school life where I followed a set schedule and timetable and used the school bus, going to college was  completely a different affair. Here a free period meant we could go to the library, canteen or an outside café something quite unthinkable during school days.
The freedom of college like does strange things to different people as we begin to experiment with the boundaries of freedom  as we embark on our journey of college life. One day I got an invite for a birthday party from a girl who was my college batch mate. We were all very excited about attending a party. The excitement of my batch mates grew many folds when they came to know that the party had been organized at a farm house that was outside the city. What this meant for me was that I would perhaps never get the permission to attend this party. As the date of the party got close the exuberance of  my friends grew at the prospects of a farm house party. As for me it would surely be out of bounds as my father would not agree in letting me go so far without him and then returning alone at night. Some of  my college friends even teased me saying that till when will I remain and act like a little girl. Some others were sympathetic to my situation saying that perhaps they could go up to my father and request him that he should let me go for the party.Yet another set of friends were of the opinion that since this party would be a great learning experience about the world outside then why don’t you tell your father that it’s a college educational tour that you are going to . The logic they presented was that since the entire college class is going so it can be labelled as a college tour and you are bound to learn something from the experience so what is the harm in calling it an educational tour. At times when we are supposed to make difficult choices our mind sometimes plays tricks and tends to present facts in slightly altered way or by omission or deletion of certain facts presents the facts in a different light to suit our needs. Call it the spur of the moment or peer pressure I decided to go to this party. Reasoning with my mind my heart settled for the college educational trip theory. I presented it to my parents. With some convincing as to how important it would be for my academic progress and there would be marks awarded towards the final  project I persuaded them to let me go. When the day of the trip arrived I reached college with my backpack which had my party dress, all set to attend the party.
The cars had been arranged by the birthday girl to pick and drop us . We started our journey singing songs and telling jokes. It was a unique experience. Then my thoughts drifted to my parents and home. Subconsciously I was all the time thinking as to how my parents would react to my attending such a party and also how they would react on finding that I had told them a lie. Slowly this fear of getting caught was overtaken by the feeling of falsehood. My parents had always done the utmost to do the best for me in life. At times they had sacrificed their own happiness to get me things that would bring me happiness and joy. Till now my relationship with my parents had been very transparent where I never hid anything from them. It was a relationship of trust. These thoughts made me very uneasy. Whenever I used to be in any dilemma or emotional situation I used to discuss it with my parents who had always stood like a sheath anchor for me . Instinctively I reached out for  the phone and dialled my home telephone number. From the other side I heard my father’s voice that was ever so comforting. By now the feeling of guilt had been overcome by my resolve to tell the truth and I told my father everything. He was quiet for a moment that seemed like eternity and then he spoke in a calm voice “Then why are you telling me now?” I said “Papa I could no longer bear the thought of not telling you the truth”
He said “Relax beta, Enjoy the evening”
I felt a burden come off my chest. I had discovered the peace that comes with the telling of truth. 

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